


Angst Prompt Drabbles

by Phayte



Series: Drabbles [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst Prompt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-11-29 23:37:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 12,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11451441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phayte/pseuds/Phayte
Summary: So I am doing an Angst Prompt on Tumblr -- these are the drabbles that are coming from it - Many pairs and each chapter I will label the pairs accordingly.





	1. Victor / Yuuri K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kipseg asked:
> 
> For your angst prompt-- Victuuri i never loved you, because apparently I'm masochist (?) Thanks

_“I never loved you.”_

Those words continued to ring in Victor’s head as he slowly sipped from his vodka bottle. It had been a year and he could never unhear those words. Four words that had ripped him to his center and shattered him. No matter how much he drank, those words would never leave his memory. The tears burned in his eyes and his throat so tight he could barely swallow.

If they had fought, it would have been easier. There were never any fights and barely any arguments. Victor continued to scroll through his social media page, those pictures of Yuuri, his arms wrapped around another man, smiling the way he use to smile at him. Victor knew he should unfollow and stop looking. He could not help it.

_“I never loved you.”_

They echo now as he sees Yuuri confessing his love through social media, to another. Why couldn’t it have been him? Why could Yuuri not love him? What was wrong with him? Why not him?

Drinking heavily from the bottle, Victor started at the man he loved… the man who would never love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	2. JJ / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shamelessshipper asked:
> 
> “you lied to my face.” Pliroy~~ :D

The excitement pulsed through JJ. Sitting at dinner, he stared over at Yuri’s face. How he had been so lucky to have such a beautiful man that he loved and loved him back. The weight of the ring in his pocket as as they went through their meal. He was going to wait till dessert and he was finally going to ask Yuri to marry him.

“You seem nervous,” Yuri said while sipping his wine.

“Who me? Never kitten,” JJ said and gave his signature smile.

When the triple chocolate cake came, JJ knew it was his time. He was nervous and excited. Before Yuri could start on the cake, he took his hand and dropped to his knee. He started to speak and hoped the words sounded coherent coming out of his mouth. Confessing his love and asking Yuri to marry him, he waited on one knee, holding a ring.

“No,” was all Yuri said.

JJ was stunned, he should kissing Yuri and slipping the ring on his hand.

“No?” JJ whispered.

“That is what I said,” Yuri said as he dropped his napkin on the table and stood up.

“Why?” JJ choked out, “Are you not ready?”

“You lied to my face.”

Yuri stood and walked out of the restaurant. JJ was left at the table, the ring still in his hand. How had it all gone so wrong? He loved Yuri more than life itself and wanted to spend his life with him. Chasing after Yuri, he found him a block away. Neither spoke or said anything. They held each other tightly as they both cried. JJ buries his head into those golden locks and took a deep breath, feeling as Yuri’s body shook against him.

When Yuri pulled away, he was still beautiful. Even with his red rimmed eyes and nose. Shaking his head, Yuri turned and walked away, leaving JJ on the sidewalk, ring still in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	3. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joelsweet asked:
> 
> "I trusted you" with Otabek/Yuri. People always write Otabek as the cheating one, so maybe you could do it with Yuri?

“Otabek, I swear… it was just that one time,” Yuri pleaded.

Otabek just stood here, unable to move, trying to let this information to sink in.

“Who was it?” Otabek finally asked.

“It doesn’t matter who it was,” Yuri pleaded and ran forward to take his hands.

Otabek jumped back from the touch. It was almost as if the moment Yuri touched him, it burned and not in the good way.

“Say something, dammit!” Yuri yelled.

“I trusted you,” was all Otabek could manage to say.

“You can still trust me, Beka!” Yuri pleaded.

“No, no I can’t… I can never trust you again.”

“Beka, please. I swear it was just that once,” Yuri was crying now.

Otabek would not cry, not in front of him, “All it takes is one time.”

Yuri was sobbing now and walked over to Otabek, hugging him tightly. Otabek struggled to unravel those long limbs from his body. Yuri’s touch repulsed him at this moment. Everything about Yuri made him sick. He loved Yuri so much and it hurt too much right now. Yuri continued to try to hug him and he backed away again.

“Yuri, no,” Otabek said and left room.

Going into _their_ room, he grabbed a bag and started to pack clothes in it. He could feel the tears wanting to betray him. Stopping to take a deep breath, Otabek looked at the dresser. A picture of both of them- Yuri and Otabek looking at each other, smiling and in love. The problem was, Otabek still loved Yuri, he knew he always would. But Yuri had broken his trust, he could not live with that.

Yuri had walked in the room, seeing Otabek pack his belongings.

“Beka… no! We can work through this,” Yuri pleaded.

Otabek grabbed the happy picture of them, throwing it against the wall, watching the glass shatter all over, just the way his heart had shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	4. Otabek / JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2-weird-4 asked:
> 
> jjbek + who do you think you are?

Otabek knew it was all a front. JJ always seemed to be confident and sure of himself. Otabek knew better though. Many times he would hold JJ as he broke down and cried. It broke Otabek’s heart to know that JJ was as fragile as he was. He knew what a strong and amazing skater JJ was and everything the man did, was done with all of his heart of and soul. Otabek knew this, he could see the strength in JJ, he wished JJ could too. It was like this more times than it wasn’t. When they were alone, Otabek would hold JJ as JJ started to break down.

Otabek would comb his fingers through JJ’s hair as his body trembled, hyperventilating and breaking down. Why couldn’t JJ see what Otabek saw? Otabek saw a beautiful strong man who could accomplish anything he set his mind too. Watching him break down, questioning and doubting himself was always hard. Otabek had to be strong one in times like these.

“Who do you think you are?” Otabek asked to JJ as he scratched at JJ’s scalp, calming him down.

“A failure,” JJ choked out.

“You are not a failure, Jean,” Otabek said to him.

“I don’t know how you can love someone as broken as I am,” JJ whispered.

These talks always tore at Otabek. Why can’t JJ see what he sees? Otabek wished for just one day, JJ could look at himself through his eyes, see the man he fell in love with. All his flaws and all his perfections.

“I love you because of who you are, Jean. Now take a deep breath and I’ll go make you a smoothie, ok?” Otabek said and kissed JJ’s forehead.

JJ nodded and sniffled. Otabek would always be there for JJ, through every break down in hope to only build him back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	5. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cherryfeather101 asked:
> 
> Otayuri "wait, I didn't mean that, please come back" for the angsty drabble thing?

“This was all a mistake! I should have never moved out here!” Otabek yelled at Yuri.

They argued more than anything else these days. Their relationship was such a whirlwind. A few days spent here and there together, Skype calls in the evening, Snapchats all day long… but it did not prepare him for what happen when he moved to Saint Petersburg. Yuri was needy and demanding. They had gotten a flat together and it was everything they had wanted– at first.

“What?” Yuri said.

Otabek could already see those emerald eyes glass over with tears. Watching Yuri’s face drop and shoulders slump, Otabek already regretted the words that came out of his mouth. Yuri turned on his heels and grabbed his jacket, leaving their flat. Otabek grabbed his shoes to chase after him.

“Wait! I didn’t mean that, please come back!” Otabek called out to him once he caught up to Yuri.

“No!” Yuri yelled and snatched his arm away, “I knew you didn’t want to be here. I can see it on your face every day. You hate it here and you hate living with me.”

“No, Yura, I love you,” Otabek said.

“Not enough… not enough,” Yuri said as he turned again.

“Please Yuri…” Otabek begged.

“I’m going to Victor’s for a bit… go back to Almaty. Go be happy, you don’t need me,” Yuri said.

Otabek stood and watched as Yuri walked away. He felt the tears fall down his cheeks. He should have chased after Yuri, begged him to come back and they could work this out. There was also this part of Otabek that knew they did not work and it would never work. If he chased after Yuri, they would only prolong the inevitable.

“I do love you… I just can’t be with you,” Otabek whispered to no one as he turned to go back to their flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	6. Yuri / Yuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> Wait I didn't mean that, please come back. Yuuri+yuri?

“Is it like this with Victor too?” Yuri asked.

Yuuri sat up and stared down at Yuri.

“Why would you ask me this?” Yuuri asked.

“Maybe I am curious. You come to me when Victor is not around, yet I don’t exist when Victor is around,” Yuri mumbled.

“It is different with you both,” Yuuri said and sat up off the bed, grabbing his underwear.

“What does he have that I don’t have?” Yuri asked.

“Don’t ask me this… you know I can’t answer this question,” Yuuri growled as he got off the bed to gather his clothes.

“Maybe I want the answer, maybe I want to know,” Yuri demanded as he got off the bed.

“That is not fair,” Yuuri spit back at him as he pulled his pants on.

“Fair? You are talking fair?” Yuri walked over to Yuuri, “You think it is fair to come and fuck me every chance Victor is out of town, yet leave me hanging once he is back? You talk of fair when you hold me and tell me you love me, but I am sure you sit and hold Victor the same way and speak the same damn words to him too!”

“Yuri… it is… I… “ Yuuri stammered.

“No! I am done with your sick game, pig. Go back to your husband and forget about me!” Yuri cried.

“But I do love you,” Yuuri whispered.

“Then choose. It is either me or him,” Yuri demanded.

“I… can’t. I love you both,” Yuuri said.

“Then you don’t love me enough, get out,” Yuri turned and walked to the bathroom while splashing his face with cold water. Yuri could heard Yuuri gathering his things as he went to leave. Staring in the mirror, Yuri fingered over the dark purpled mark left on his collarbone, it was shaped like a heart. As much as it hurt to love Yuuri, as much as it hurt to share him with Victor, he still loved him. His front door slammed and Yuri was jolted back to what had just happened.

Running through his flat, he pulled the door open and yelled down the hallway, “Wait! I didn’t mean that! Please come back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	7. Leo / Guang Hong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hannah-aureum asked:
> 
> "Did I do something wrong?" Leoji!!

Leo stood there, staring down at Guang-Hong. He looked perfect. Everything about him was beautiful. Those freckles splashed across his cheekbones and nose, Leo loved to brush his fingers over them, and did one last time. Trying to commit to memory, every tiny mark on that face, Leo choked back a sob. It was too hard, he could not do this.

“Did I do something wrong?” Leo asked to Guang-Hong. He knew he would not get an answer.

Leo tried to be everything he could for Guang-Hong. He even tried to build up the shaken confidence that Guang-Hong had. Leo could not pull himself away. He ran his fingers through that soft brunette hair one last time. Feeling as those strands left his fingers, the tears fell off his cheeks and onto the sleeve of Guang-Hong’s suit.

“Why couldn’t you listen to me? Why couldn’t you understand you were my everything?” Leo pleaded.

A hand on his shoulder and Leo fell to the ground. Crumpled and broken, Leo would never be able to get over this.

“Leo? We need to close the casket,” the pastor said.

“Just give me… another minute, please?” Leo pleaded.

The pastor nodded and turned away. Standing back up, Leo leaned over and kissed the cold lips of Guang-Hong, one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	8. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy-theeree asked:
> 
> Heyy I hope you're feeling better!!! And for your angst prompt if you could do otayuti 'what do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you?' only if you want tho ahah love your writing ❤❤

They had been friends forever. The best friendship Yuri could have ever wanted. They had even gotten a flat together and trained together now. The last three years had meant everything to Yuri. Having his best friend near him all the time, was everything he could have wanted… almost.

Yuri was madly in love with Otabek. Otabek still saw him as a friend. It killed Yuri every time Otabek brought someone home. He could hear them through the walls and Yuri always wondered when Otabek would turn those dark eyes onto him and realize Yuri was all he ever needed.

In the mornings, Yuri would make coffee, and share it with whoever Otabek had brought home. Yuri would stand there in one of Otabek’s shirts that always hung too big on him and his underwear as he leaned over the counter listening to how Otabek’s newest conquest talked about what a wonderful, caring lover Otabek was.

It always tore at Yuri every time. Each guy that came and went. Why couldn’t it be him? What was so wrong with him? The guy would leave and conveniently that is when Otabek’s shower would end. Otabek would come out with his hair wet and a towel around his waist. He always kissed Yuri on the forehead then made his coffee. Yuri melted everytime till he would see the distinctive love marks along Otabek’s neck.

Having finally enough, Yuri whispered out, “Why not me?”

“What do you mean, Yura? You are my best friend.”

“It is always someone different, yet it is never me… why can’t it be me?” Yuri asked.

“You want to sleep with me?” Otabek asked.

“Yes dammit! I mean… I want more though…” Yuri managed to say.

Otabek just stared at him as he drank his coffee. Yuri could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. He wanted an answer.

“Say something!” Yuri finally said.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” Otabek said.

“It could enhance our friendship! We are perfect together. Can’t you see this?” Yuri pleaded.

“'What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you?” Otabek responded, “You are my best friend, Yura. I don’t see you that way.”

Otabek left the kitchen and Yuri slid down the counters to the floor where he burying his head in his knees. What was so wrong with him that Otabek could not see him this way? Was he not perfect enough? Yuri worked hard to be everything Otabek could ever want in someone. It was never enough… he would never be enough.


	9. Victor / Yuuri K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> victuuri - "you don't get to say anything after what you did!"

Yuuri fell to the floor, pulling his own hair as hard as he could. Everything inside his mind screamed around him. He could not breath, his lungs were being crushed and he gasped for air. Shaking his head, he wanted to forget it all. All he wanted to erase the last two days and pretend none of it had happened. He could not even open his eyes, he could not even look at him.

“Yuuri, baby… please,” Victor said while kneeling down next to him.

Yuuri crawled away from him. He needed as far away from him as he could get. It was too much. All of this was too much. He could not deal with it. Gasping for air, he pulled his hair tighter and tried to scream.

“Yuuri, breath baby,” Victor said again as Yuuri felt a hand on his shoulder.

“No!” Yuuri finally screamed and tried to focus his eyes on the man in front of him.

“I still love you,” Victor pleaded.

“You don’t get to say anything after what you did!” Yuuri screamed back at him.

Victor’s eyes fell, breaking contact with him.

“It was a mistake, Yuuri….” was all Victor could say.

“Get out,” Yuuri whispered.

When Yuuri heard the door click in place behind Victor, did Yuuri finally sob out. Allowing the pain to travel through his body and over take him. There was no way he would get through this. He still loved Victor, that was the problem.


	10. Chris / Phichit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> “this wasn’t supposed to be this complicated.” for Chumetti <3

It had been ten years, and he could still remember every line and curve to Chris’ body. Sure they were not as prominent anymore, but Phichit still remembered them. They always spent more time apart than together, but he treasured the moments together. It had been almost a year since he last saw Chris, outside of skype calls, text messages and emails.

Surprised to receive the call, Chris saying he was in town and wanted to see him. They had planned a dinner and Phichit was excited. Sure, he did not have his perfect skater body anymore, but he had kept in shape. Excitement buzzed through him as he prepared himself for his dinner that night.

The clock ticked too slowly. Phichit wondered why Chris did not show up before hand as it had been a year since they had seen each other. Phichit arrived at the restaurant early, excited to see Chris. When he finally spotted him, Phichit jumped up, running to Chris and hugging him. It was when Phichit looked over Chris’ shoulder he saw him. There was a man still holding Chris’ hand and smiling at the two.

“Phichit, I would like you to meet Jonathan,” Chris said.

Phichit was confused, who was this guy. “Jonathan?” Phichit asked.

“Yes, my fiance,” Chris said.

Jonathan held his hand out to shake Phichit’s hand. Phichit hesitated and looked at Chris. Finally shaking the man’s hand, Phichit allowed the news sink in.

“Fiance?” Phichit whispered.

“Love, I’ll go get us a drink at the bar and allow you two to talk,” Jonathan said and kissed Chris’ cheek.

Sitting at the table, Chris went to take Phichit’s hand and Phichit pulled away.

“Fiance? When were you going to tell me? What about us?” Phichit asked.

Chris sighed, “This wasn’t supposed to be this complicated.”

“What? Us or him?” Phichit asked.

“Phichit, us. We were apart too much… and Jonathan just kind of… happen.”

This was not how Phichit had thought his evening would go. He had worn his best outfit and fixed his hair to perfection. His flat was spotless and the sheets on his bed clean. He thought this would be a weekend with the love of his life.

“But… I love you,” Phichit choked out.

“I will always love you,” Chris responded back.

Jonathan returned to the table with drinks and Phichit ran out of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	11. Chris / Victor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ashiiblack asked:  
> “don’t make me out to be the bad guy.” Vichris

“I can’t help how I feel!” Victor yelled.

“But I thought you loved me,” Chris said.

“I care for you deeply,” Victor said.

“But you are still going, aren’t you?”Chris asked.

“I have too…” Victor said.

Victor remembered how that small Japanese boy danced on him that night. Grinding against him, half naked. There was a look of lust in his eyes, and Victor had fallen for him instantly. It had been on of the best nights in a long time Victor had had. The last few months, his mind was only on Yuuri. Chris guilted him, and Victor felt bad, but he could not change how he felt.

“No, you don’t have too,” Chris spat back at him.

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy,” Victor begged. He felt bad enough.

“Then don’t leave me. You said if you retired you would give us a chance, a real chance. More than this game you’ve been playing with me,” Chris said.

“It was never a game,” Victor said to him.

Chris turned his back to Victor, “Go to him, I can’t hold onto someone who doesn’t want me… who never wanted me.”

“Chris you know that is a lie.”

“Do I though?”

Victor felt torn. How could he feel so strongly for two people, but one pulling him harder than the other. He was giving up everything for a boy across the world. He was giving up his friend and lover.

“I have to do this. Good-bye Chris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	12. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> "this wasnt supposed to be this complicated," victurio

“We can’t keep doing this, Yuri,” Victor said.

“And why the hell not? Just cause you are marrying that pig?” Yuri spit at him.

“Yes! Because I am getting married… and you are with Otabek,” Victor reminded him.

“Fine, you want me to leave Otabek, just say the word… that is all you have to do.”

“I would never ask you to do that,” Victor said.

Yuri walked over and wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck and kissed him slowly. Victor knew what Yuri was trying to do and pushed him away. It hurt, he was in love with Yuuri, but he had loved Yuri even longer. He had hoped that Otabek coming into the picture would make things easier. It only complicated them more. They had to sneak around even more, more close calls almost getting caught.

“This wasn’t supposed to be this complicated,” Yuri whined as he kissed up and down Victor’s neck.

“Yuri, we can’t do this,” Victor said.

“Just one last time… before you marry him,” Yuri whispered into his ear.

One last kiss, one last touch, one last fuck. Victor could only hold onto those moments as the tears ran down both their cheeks, mixing as they kissed. Tomorrow he would hyphenate his name, and he would leave Yuri behind. Leave Yuri to Otabek. Victor knew Otabek worshiped Yuri, he would be good to him. He hated it had come to this. He wanted to hold onto Yuuri and Yuri, but he knew he couldn’t.

One last time. That is what Victor would hold onto, one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	13. Otabek / JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> JJbek, If you know what's good for you, don't come around anymore

JJ had followed him. When he showed up at one of his nightclubs, Otabek got worried. His lifestyle was not what JJ was use too. No, JJ did charity work and was involved in his church. Otabek rode bikes, DJed and spray painted buildings in the middle of the night. Otabek even had spent a night or two in lock up, nothing major, but it wasn’t what the small town church boy needed in his life.

It was Otabek’s fault, he knew this. When he trained in Canada, he got bored and fooled around with JJ. It was hard not too. JJ was very good looking and Otabek liked how the Canadian towered over him. They had gotten along well and one night it all started. It never went beyond kissing and hand jobs and when Otabek left, he never looked back.

So he was surprised seeing JJ in the club he was playing at. JJ did not fit in, in his plain jeans and tshirt as the music pulsed around them. Otabek traded off with another DJ and pulled JJ out of the club.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Otabek demanded as JJ tried to lean down and kiss him.

“Beks, you have not returned my calls or text… it has been two months,” JJ said.

Otabek groaned and pressed JJ up against the wall, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I missed you…” JJ whined and tried to kiss Otabek again.

“If you know what’s good for you, don’t come around anymore.” Otabek said as he walked away from JJ.

“Beks! I came all this way…” JJ pleaded.

“Then it was a waste.”

“So the last year was a waste?” JJ asked.

Otabek knew there was only way to make JJ understand, not that he meant it, “Yes, the last year was a waste… and mistake.”

Otabek watched the moment that JJ crumbled. He could hear his heart shatter. Otabek knew they could never be anything. They lived two different lives, they were two different people. JJ prayed while Otabek mixed music. It would never work. Otabek turned and went back into the club, as much as he wanted to turn around and look back, he knew it was best not too. He was no good for JJ and would only bring him down.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	14. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brakeyourbones asked:  
> "If you know what's good for you, don't come around anymore" for otayuri because hi, I like pain.

“If you know what’s good for you, don’t come around anymore,” Yuri whispered to Otabek.

He was trying to break it off the easiest way he could. He did not have time to have his mind scattered by this beautiful Kazakh man. Otabek had sped into this life and without thinking, Yuri had let him in. He was always so careful with that– keeping people at an arm’s distance.

Yuri knew what a mess he was, he also knew he did not deserve anyone as good as Otabek. The problem was, Otabek would give up anything if Yuri had asked. Yuri knew he could and he would easily take advantage of this. His one unselfish act he would do, would be to let Otabek go.

“Why don’t you allow me to decide what is good for me?” Otabek asked him.

Yuri shook his head, he knew very well how this would all go. He could not allow Otabek to fall into the downward spiral that was Yuri Plisetsky.

“No, I cannot continue to let this happen,” Yuri said as he stood up.

Otabek reached out to grab Yuri’s wrist and Yuri pulled away. Running out of the cafe, Yuri knew he had to get out of there. He had to save Otabek. Otabek would only drown if he stayed with Yuri and Yuri loved him too much to allow it. Once he was a couple blocks away, Yuri pulled his phone out and made sure he blocked Otabek, it was the only way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	15. Victor / Yuuri K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> victuuri-moonandsun asked:  
> Can you please do instead victuuri + 'I loved you'

They had been divorced for twenty years, and Victor never got over him. The worst day of his life was when Yuuri had walked out of it. Victor spent five years at the bottom of a bottle, trying to drink his memories away. It never worked. When he closed his eyes at night, Yuuri always danced in his dreams.

Victor replayed the five years of their marriage over and over in his head, he never knew where it all went wrong. He never stopped loving Yuuri and kept their wedding picture with him at all times.

He had gotten an email from Yuuri one morning, saying he was in town and they should get coffee. Victor sat there and reread the email over and over. He almost did not believe it. Adjusting his glasses, he checked again.

Victor sat at the small cafe and waited. They had not spoken since the signing of their papers and he was curious as to what Yuuri would want after all this time. Looking up, Victor saw him. It was almost as if the last twenty years had never happen. There were a few more lines in Yuuri’s face, but he was still just as beautiful.

Yuuri hugged him and kissed his cheek. Victor still did not understand it, but he was just glad to see Yuuri again. It took everything in him not to reach across their small table and hold his hand.

Yuuri nodded, “Look, this won’t take long, and I figure since I was in town, was easier to just do this in person.”

Yuuri slipped a box across the table. Victor knew immediately what it was. When he looked in the box, his father’s ring was in it. In all the years since they had been apart, why had he waited twenty years to give it back?

“I’m sorry, I had forgotten I had it… I was going through old stuff in the attic and came across it,” Yuuri said.

Yuuri stood up to leave and Victor jumped up, “Was that all? At least have a cup of tea with me.”

Yuuri turned and shook his head, “Probably best if I didn’t.”

“Yuuri, what happen to us? I loved you,” Victor said.

Yuuri nodded, “Yes Vitya, I know.”

For the last time, Victor watched Yuuri walk away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	16. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trinityloveseric asked:  
> "Don't make me out to be the bad guy." Otayuri

Yuri had thrown a plate across the kitchen. Otabek had ducked just in time as it slammed against the back wall and shattered all over the counter.

“Goddammit Altin!” Yuri screamed.

Yuri grabbed a coffee mug and threw it at Otabek. This time it slammed into his shoulder and fell to the floor crashing. Otabek walked forward and grabbed Yuri’s arms as he screamed and kicked at him.

“I fucking hate you!” Yuri screamed as he fought and kicked.

Otabek hated this, it had been like this for months now. He should have left before this, but he had hoped they could work through it. He had uprooted his life and moved out here for Yuri. He loved Yuri with all his heart and every time him and Yuri fought, it was a passionate as their love making. There was never an in between with them.

“You don’t mean that,” Otabek said.

Yuri spat at him, “I do! I fucking hate you Atlin! You ruined everything!”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy,” Otabek growled at him and tighten his grip on Yuri wrist.

Yuri fought against him again, kicking and screaming. Otabek had allowed Yuri to keep at it till he wore himself out. He always knew the moment it would happen, Yuri would slump in his arms when he had exhausted himself.

“I can’t live like this anymore,” Otabek said as tears trailed down Yuri’s face.

“Then leave… just fucking leave,” Yuri sobbed.

“I won’t come back this time if I go,” Otabek warned.

“Then GO! Just fucking leave me!” Yuri screamed.

With a nod, Otabek left and made good on his promise. He never did return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	17. Victor / Yuuri K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
>  "Wait I didn't mean that, please come back" victuuri angst???

It had been over six months and Yuuri had endured two surgeries on his knee and three more on his hip. He would never skate again and he sulked over it every day.  Never getting the gold he wanted, he stayed in the apartment that Victor had set up for them. He was stuck in a wheelchair as any pressure was too painful.

Victor did nothing but dote on him and try to cheer him up. Nothing worked. Nothing ever worked. Yuuri sat in his damn chair and stared out the window most days. All he wanted was his life back and he knew it never would be. The doctors said he needed more surgeries and he would lucky to even walk again.

Lucky? What a funny word. Yuuri did not feel lucky. Yuuri did not feel fortunate or ‘blessed’ as his doctors had said. He should not have even lived through the accident, but he had. Yuuri felt he was cursed to have lived through this.

“Darling, let’s go out. I can take you down to the park, fresh air is good for you,” Victor said.

“Just leave me alone,” Yuuri said as he continued to stare out the window. He watched as people walked up and down the sidewalk, their normal legs and life. He did not have this anymore. He never would. It was all taken away from him.

“Please Yuuri, we can do a lap around the park, it will be good for you,” Victor pleaded.

“You mean good for you? What do you care?” Yuuri whispered.

“Yuuri, I love you. I just want you happy.”

“I should have died in the accident, would have been better than this,” Yuuri said.

Victor gasped and Yuuri realized he had said that out loud. Turning his chair, he saw those aqua eyes fill with tears as Victor went to get his coat and leave.

“Wait! I didn’t mean that, please come back!” Yuuri yelled.

Victor turned, the tears falling down his cheeks, “No, Yuuri, the problem is… I know you did mean it.”

Yuuri could not deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	18. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> "please i'll do anything just talk to me" and victurio

Yuri was on his knees, clutching at Victor’s clothing. He had taken it too far this time. He knew he should not have asked Victor to stay with him– to leave Yuuri. He knew it always hurt Victor and he hated himself for even asking.

“Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me!” Yuri begged.

“There is nothing to talk about, anymore,” Victor said as he shook out of Yuri’s grasp.

“So is that all this was to you? Just cheap sex on the side?” Yuri spit out.

He saw as Victor’s spine straighten and his nostril flare.

“If you want to cheapen this by labeling that, then do so,” Victor said.

Yuri stayed seated on the ground. There was no use in arguing when Victor had his mind set. It never worked.

“He doesn’t love you like I do… he never has,” Yuri mumbled.

“What do you even know of love? You think spreading your legs is love.”

“Why are you so cruel to me? Is it to make me stop loving you?” Yuri asked.

Standing above him, Victor just looked down, “You could at least pick yourself off the floor.”

Yuri hated how cold his voice was. He had heard the way Victor spoke to Yuuri. His voice soft and like velvet. Victor use to talk to him that way too. Yuri had pushed him and pushed him. Made him feel guilty for what they had, it had changed how Victor talked to him.

“I just miss what we had,” Yuri said.

“It was never anything, don’t kid yourself.”

“You don’t have to leave… don’t move to Japan. I’ll… I’ll never see you again.”

“Yuri,” Victor crouched down and ran his thumb over the tears, “That is the point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	19. Victor / Yuuri K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> "Please I'll do anything, just talk to me" for Victor and Yuuri? ?

Victor sat on the uncomfortable couch and held his husband’s hand. Yuuri stared off, never looking at him. Every day it hurt Victor, more than Yuuri would ever know.  
  
Victor would stay for hours, holding Yuuri’s hand, talking about nothing to him. It was always this way, Victor talking and holding Yuuri’s hand as Yuuri looked away. If only once, Yuuri would turn and look at him, Victor’s heart would be lighter. If only once, Yuuri would say his name. If only once, Yuuri would return his kiss.  
  
“Yuuri the children are coming by this weekend. Won’t that make you happy?” Victor whispered to Yuuri.  
  
It used to be the children that always brought Yuuri around, recognition flashing in his eyes. It had been some time since that sparkle showed in those sad brown eyes. Victor would hold tight onto Yuuri’s hand and pray every day he would get a glimpse of the man he had grown old with.  
  
“Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me,” Victor sobbed as he held tight to Yuuri’s hand, their rings clanking together.  
  
Every day Victor sat next to Yuuri, everyday Victor hoped Yuuri would come back around. They had had a great life, married over fifty years. Their children visited on the weekends with their grandchildren, even their newest great grandchild.  
  
Victor only wished Yuuri’s mind would return. They did not have much longer left together, and Victor wanted every minute he could grasp of it. He was not ready to let go. He would never let go. He would hold Yuuri’s hand and pray… pray that everything being said was somehow being heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	20. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> Could you do either victurio "Don't you dare pin this on me!" or "I can't stand this silence between us." <3

Yuri was startled awake, the lighten had cracked all around, lighting up the room. He hated storms and went to curl in closer to Victor. This was about to the only time anymore he could get Victor to hug him, when he didn’t know he was hugging him.  
  
It had been a rough two years. Victor could distance him without thought or worry over what it did to Yuri. Sure Yuri was strong, on the outside, that is what he let everyone see and believe.  
  
Yuri held onto Victor and brushed the hair off of his face, marveling over the beauty of this man he was married too. When Victor slept, the worry lines disappeared and his face softened. It wasn’t filled with angry and resentment as it was during the day time.  
  
Yuri trailed a finger down those high cheekbones as the lightening cracked again, making Victor’s face shadow over with the light.  
  
“I can’t stand the silence between us,” Yuri whispered as he laid his head on Victor’s chest and listen to the storm around them… the one outside the bedroom and inside bedroom.  
  
Yuri held tight, he did not know how much longer Victor would try before he gave up on them completely, and Yuri knew he would not have many more nights holding him as he slept. It ate at him but for now, he would breath in Victor’s scent and hold him till he fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	21. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> omg ;; Angst is my entire life and Beka saying something like “i gave you everything.” PLEASE ;; ...

Yuri stood, his hands shaking, the weight of the gun almost too much for him to hold. Tears streaming down his face as he stared at Otabek.  
  
“I gave you everything,” Otabek whispered as he pressed his temple to the barrel of the gun.  
  
“It wasn’t enough,” Yuri said, his voice cracking.  
  
“You don’t have to do this.”  
  
“Yes I do! I don’t have a choice!” Yuri screamed. His body started to shake the way his hands did. It was the last thing he wanted to do. He loved Otabek with all his heart and soul, but he was the enemy and he was ordered to do this.  
  
“Yura… let’s run away from here… from this. We can do it, we can be happy,” Otabek begged.  
  
“I can never get away from them. They will always find me,” Yuri cried.  
  
“I have places we go… people who can hide us,” Otabek pleaded.  
  
“No! I have to do this! They already think I am weak! You make me weak…” Yuri was crying now, the tears streaking his dirty face.  
  
With a heavy sign, Otabek pressed his temple harder to the barrel of the gun.  
  
“If this is what you have to do, Yura… I love you.”  
  
Yuri closed his eyes, he could not look at Otabek as he did this. He could not bear to look at him.  
  
“I love you too, Beka,” Yuri whispered as he slowly started to squeeze on the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	22. Yuri / Yuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cherryfeather101 asked:  
> Me again! You know how much I love angst~ YuriYuu with "I'm not blind, I can see the way you look at them"

Yuri sat next to Yuuri at the park bench. Resting his hand over Yuuri’s he watched as Yuuri gazed longingly at a couple pushing a stroller. Yuri squeezed Yuuri’s hand, understanding what was going on in his husband’s head.

“I’m not blind, I can see the way you look at them,” Yuri said.

“We can always try again,” Yuuri said.

“The adoption agency keeps turning us down. The heartache is too much,” Yuri said.

The couple had stopped and the father bent down to adjust the blanket over the sleeping babe. When he was done, he leaned over to kiss his wife and they continued their walk.

“I’m so sorry, Yura. I know you wanted a family,” Yuuri said.

Yuri squeezed his hand, “We can always get another cat.”

“We already have five,” Yuuri answered back.

“We could foster again,” Yuri said.

They knew that was even worse. They had a little baby girl for three months. They had both grown attached to her. When they came to get the baby girl and take her to her new family, they both cries for weeks. They swore they would never do that again.

Yuri nodded. They both tried, but it was useless. They loved each other deeply, but there was always something missing, they both wanted more and it was out of the their reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	23. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> "im a fool for not seeing this earlier" otayuri pls <3
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE

Otabek held Yuri’s picture in his hand. Tears dripping off his cheeks as he stared at it. When you looked at it, Yuri was smiling and happy. You would have never known. Otabek knew now.

Looking at the picture, the smile was fake. Yuri put up a great front. No one would have known how much he suffered on the inside. Otabek had gone through all their photo albums. He could almost pinpoint the exact moment that smile had shifted. It went from pure to fake.

“I’m a fool for not seeing this earlier,” Otabek said to the picture.

It was after the passing of Yuri’s grandfather. Yuri had fallen into a deep depression. It scared Otabek. He never knew when he came home what he would find. He hated leaving their flat to go practice as Yuri would refuse to leave the bed. When Otabek would come home at night, Yuri would be where he had left him. He had offered many times to stay with him, Yuri insisted he wanted to be alone. He would find Yuri wrapped in his grandpa’s old sweater, sitting in his chair, sobbing quietly in the middle of the night. Otabek threaten Yuri to seek help. Yuri never responded.

Finally after months, things started to shift. Yuri started to move around again and do things with him. He had even gotten back into skating. Otabek took advantage of it, he did not know it was all a front. He had his Yuri back with him. He was so wrapped up with Yuri being back, he missed all the signs. The silent sobbing at night, the alcohol bottles that had emptied too quickly. Otabek knew it was his fault. If he had paid more attention, he could have saved his Yuri.

He could have put that smile back on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	24. Leo / Guang Hong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> leoji with leo saying “you lied to my face.” ??

Guang-Hong was shifting back and forth on his feet. He was uneasy and Leo saw this. When Leo wrapped his hand around the back of Guang-Hong’s neck, he felt the cold sweat as it built up.

“Ji, are you ok?” Leo asked.

“Y-yeah… I’m fine,” Guang-Hong stammered out.

Leo pulled Guang-Hong into a tight hug. He could feel how tense that small body was against him and Leo tried to rub his back.

“Ji, baby I am worried about you,” Leo said.

“Don’t be, let’s keep walking,” Guang-Hong said and they continued down the road.

“Ji, where are we going?” Leo asked.

Guang-Hong took his hand as they crossed a field, a warehouse in sight. Leo was confused but he trusted Guang-Hong enough to not question it. As they approached, Leo noticed Guang-Hong’s hand was trembling and he was biting his lip.

As Guang-Hong opened the door, Leo watched as men came rushing at them. Leo was slammed into the wall and a black sack put over his head as his arms were bound behind his back.

“JI!” Leo screamed, “You lied to my face!”

Guang-Hong only stood there. Leo would never know how much it broke him having to turn Leo over to the enemy. Leo would only remember the betrayal. Guang-Hong sat against the wall and started to cry. A hand on his shoulder brought his attention back.

“We told you not to get attached, don’t worry, it gets easier each time,” Michele said as he gestured for Guang-Hong to follow them.

Guang-Hong listened as Leo continued to call his name and beg him to save him. The men threw him in the trunk of the car and Guang-Hong cried the entire trip back to the pier. Michele said it got easier each time he had to do this. Guang-Hong had to wonder if he would ever become heartless enough not to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	25. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sergeantjamesrogers asked:  
> Could you do otayuri and "It's not supposed to be this hard"

Otabek reached out to hug Yuri, but he was always out of reach. He watched as Yuri sat and cried. All Otabek wanted to do was comfort him. He couldn’t though. Yuri would go and stay with Victor and Yuuri’s so he was not alone at night. They even allowed him to sleep between them at night as he cried. It helped Otabek in knowing that Yuri had people there for him. He only wished he could be there for Yuri. All he could do was watch.

Yuri would pass through his days, a shadow of his former self was all that was left. It crushed Otabek in more ways than he ever thought it would. If only he could convey to Yuri he was ok, that they would both be ok… but he couldn’t.

“It’s not suppose to be this hard!” Yuri cried out every day as he walked their flat.

Every day he watched as Yuri would slip his leather jacket on and go back to their flat. Victor and Yuri insisted they just stay with them, but Yuri always went back every morning. Otabek watched as Yuri paced their flat, going through the closet and smelling his clothing. Every evening Victor would come and force Yuri to come back with them.

They made sure Yuri ate and bathed. Every day that passed, Yuri got dimmer to Otabek. This hurt. He knew he did not have much time left and he would continue to reach out, try to touch Yuri’s shoulder, reassure him.

The light was bright and Otabek knew his time was up– he turned one last time to look at his Yuri. He knew he could always check in, he knew Yuri would be ok. He would wait for him, they would be together again. One last look over his shoulder, Otabek stepped into the bright light and stepped into what came next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos as those fuel me!!! I am on Tumblr and love comments and ask there!  
>   
> [Phaytesworld ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/phaytesworld)  
> Phayte <3


	26. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ashiiblack asked:
> 
> "Quit trying to fix me when you really just need to fix yourself" Vikturio

“Ugh! Not this again! You are pushing me away, aren’t you?” Yuri growled.

“Now Yurio, we have discussed this,” Victor explained as his hand ran down Yuri’s cheek.

Yuri shook Victor’s hand away, “It is always about you leaving, never staying.”

“You knew this was just temporary, Yurio… With your grandpa gone, we did not want you to be alone. I am was only trying to help you.”

“Trying to help me? You mean just break me even more…” Yuri said as he curled up in the old chair in his living room, tucking his knees up to his chin.

“Well if you are broken, then let me fix you,” Victor said as he leaned forward, brushing his lips across Yuri’s forehead.

Yuri hate how everyone thought he was broken, fragile, a child… he was more than all of that. He was strong and unbreakable. Everyone had suffocated him so much these last few weeks when all he wanted was to be alone. He had only allowed Victor in, the only one he thought was truly genuine.

“Quit trying to fix me when you really just need to fix yourself,” Yuri spit out, “Go back to your piggy husband and forget I even exist.”

“Is that was you really want, Yuri?” Victor asked.

Yuri knew if he said yes, Victor would walk out the door, go back to his husband and out of his life. It would be easier, simpler. Yuri felt the tears betray him and slowly fall out of his eyes. Turning away from Victor, he said what he did not want to say, “Yes…”  

Victor just stood there, he could see Yuri’s shoulder’s shake and hear it in his voice. He knew he should leave, it would be easier in the end, he hated to see Yuri broken into pieces like this.  Bending over, he kissed Yuri’s check… one last time.


	27. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> Somewhere deep inside me, I hope you still find love. How pathetic (Any pairing you want)
> 
> I picked - Otayrui!

Yuri stood with is arms wrapped around his center. He was staring out the window watching as the snow started to fall. He had no more tears—they had all been used.

“Why are you even still here?” Yuri asked, his voice flat, emotionless.

“Yura… I worry about you,” Otabek said.

A dry chuckle fell from Yuri’s laugh, “That’s rich coming from you.”

“Please Yura, we have too much to just throw it all away,” Otabek said.

“Maybe you should have thought about that beforehand,” Yuri said.

Otabek sighed, “Well… I’ll just get the rest of my stuff then.”

“It is in a box in the spare bedroom,” Yuri said as he turned back to the window, “Better hurry, the snow is picking up.”

Yuri could feel the familiar tightness in his throat as Otabek came back out and put his coat and gloves on. This was really it, he was really leaving. Yuri choked back and sob and stared at his former friend and lover. He knew he still loved him, and under different circumstances– he could forgive him. It hurt, it hurt too much. Otabek was his forever… until… this.

“Somewhere deep inside me, I hope you still find love. How pathetic.” Yuri turned back around so he did not have to look at him. He knew he could only be strong a few more seconds and hoped Otabek would just leave to allow him to cry openly and not hold it back anymore. As he heard the door shut behind him, he watched as Otabek stepped out to the road. When Otabek looked up, they had made eye contact, Yuri could see the tears in Otabek’s eyes and he knew the sob that escaped his throat was nothing but pure heartbreak.

Pressing his hand to the window, he continued to watch as Otabek walked away.


	28. Mila / Otabek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?” - Milabeka

She was never the type to go ‘ _girl crazy_ ’ over anyone, least of all a boy, but here she was, standing outside on Otabek’s doorstep—beating on his door.

The door opened and Otabek stood there, “Jesus, Milla! What the hell?”

“Where are they?” Milla screamed as she stormed into his flat. She was looking around the flat, just looking for whoever it was. Milla hated being this way, She always did. She never allowed herself to feel for anyone- she always got hurt in the end. How the hell she allowed him in… allowed him to turn her into this?

“Where are they?” Milla screamed again.

Otabek shook his head, “This again?”

“YES! This again!” Milla screamed. She knew Otabek could never be faithful and she had hoped deep in her heart maybe he would be for her. When he asked her not to come to his gig at the club, she knew something was up.

“Milla, babe- calm down. No one is here. What is wrong with you?” Otabek asked as he walked over to her and put his hands on her waist.

“No! You didn’t want me at the gig tonight, that means you were out playing for someone else… I know it,” Milla spit at him.

“Babe, you are getting worked up over nothing. I knew the gig would be late and the place was a rundown dive, I didn’t want you out there, I told there was no one,” Otabek said softly trying to calm her, “Calm down Milla, your make up is smearing and running.”

Milla knew what she probably looked like, but when she turned back to Otabek, there as a faint purplish bruise on his neck, one she had not put there. She hated being this girl, not trusting, always questioning.

“Who is it?” Milla asked in a calmer voice this time.

Otabek just stared at her and shook his head, “I told you—“

“YOU ARE STILL LYING!” Milla screamed. Walking over to Otabek she yanked down the collar of his shirt, “Where did this mark come from?”

“You, Milla, the other morning,” Otabek said.

“You can’t even keep your lies straight anymore! I was not here this week!” she screamed once more and pushed Otabek away from here. Falling to the floor, Milla folded herself in half as she cried. “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”

“It Is all in your head babe, now c’mon,” Otabek held his hand out to her.

Milla hated being this girl. She knew she was right, she knew he would never be faithful, she knew all she got was heartache from him. Sniffling, she hated herself as she accepted the hand held out waiting for her. She hated she craved this man, even if he would never be what she truly needed. She would always take his hand, she would always allow him to break her. She hated herself for loving him.


	29. Otabek / JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> penciltrash asked:
> 
> Hi, for the prompts can you please write - jjbek - “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.”

You are seriously doing this, aren’t you?” Otabek asked.

JJ stood there as he adjusted his tie, “Of course I am. It is the right thing to do.”

“How the hell is this the right thing to do?” Otabek said as he stepped forward and fixed the tie around JJ’s neck.

“You knew this day was coming…” JJ whispered.

“But you don’t even love her,” Otabek said.

“That is not the point of it.”

“Then what the hell is? What am I to do now? You think I am going to continue this and have an affair with a married man?” Otabek hissed at him.

“Beks, don’t do this. I told you nothing with us would change,” JJ said.

“You mean keeping me as your dirty secret?”

“Don’t go there Beks, this is my wedding day,” JJ said.

“It is a sham!”

“So what if it is? Did you really think anything could become of us? I mean, you are my best friend Beks…”

“Maybe I thought you finally accept who you were… accept who we were.”

“What do you want Beks? Did you want to stand at the alter with me instead?” JJ hissed quietly at him.

Otabek would never admit it outloud, but that was exactly what he wanted, what he had dreamed about. Even when JJ started to date Isabella, he had hoped he would finally just stop the game and see it was Otabek who he needed. He always kept Otabek hidden away, they were friends to the outside world. No one knew the side of JJ that Otabek did.

“Somewhere deep inside me, I still have that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.” Otabek grumbled out.

“Beks, I will learn to love her.. but I will always love you,” JJ whispered as he pulled Otabek in close.

Otabek shook his head, “Go get married Jean…”

Otabek knew he would be the best man, he would stand as he watched his best friend and lover, marry a woman he did not love. He would stand next to him while his heart shattered and his emotions ran dry. Even as JJ said “I do” and leaned in to kiss her—Otabek wished was him that JJ was repeating those words too… that JJ was taking off to Hawaii for the week… that JJ was building a house for.

Maybe Otabek would feel better about it if JJ truly loved her, if hadn’t spent the previous night telling Otabek how much he loved him instead. Maybe?


	30. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> worldofcopperwings asked:
> 
> Well break my heart again won't you? Otayuri and “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”

Lying in bed, Yuri just stared at the wall. There was nothing on the wall, it was a faded blue color. There was nothing on his mind, he wished there was. He could not explain why he felt the way he did, but there was just nothing… nothing he felt, nothing inside—just nothing.

He wondered why Otabek stayed around and put up with it. Yuri knows if the roles were reversed, he would have left a long time ago. Yuri knew if he could feel anything, he would be thankful to be so lucky.  

Yuri just expected Otabek to be there. He expected Otabek to come and drag him to meals, force him to shower and make him interact with him. Yuri did not know why Otabek cared so much. He had heard Otabek mumble words that had feelings attached to them.

“Yura, dinner is ready,” Otabek said.

Yuri nodded and got up out of bed and walked to the kitchen. He didn’t really care what Otabek made, he would eat it regardless.

Otabek would talk and chatter the entire time they ate. Yuri tried to nod and grunt his response. It seemed to make Otabek happy.

“I’m going back to Almaty in a week,” Otabek said.

This got Yuri’s attention, looking up he started into those dark brown eyes, “What?” Had he finally been too much for Otabek?

Otabek reached across the table and ran his hand down Yuri’s face, “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.” It came out as a whispered hope from Otabek. A whispered hope Yuri wished he could fill.

“You’re… leaving?” Yuri asked.

Otabek nodded. Yuri felt something. He was not sure what it was, he had not felt anything in a long time. It hurt, it hurt deep inside though. Standing up, Yuri just stared at Otabek as a single tear ran down his cheek.

“I’m sorry I can’t be…” Yuri tried to say before he choked. Running back to the bedroom, Yuri hid under the covers and stared at his wall. He finally felt something.. and it took loosing Otabek to feel it.


	31. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sergeantjamesrogers asked:
> 
> “I’ll let you down. I will always let you down. I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.” With Yurio and Viktor!

Yuri  hates when Victor would leave, he always went back to Yuuri. It ate at Yuri, ripped him in half. There was nothing he could do. He loved Victor and he knew Victor felt for him– he could only hope it was love. Laid out on the bed, he watched as Victor started to pull his clothes on.

“We leave this weekend for the world championship,” Victor said. Yuri knew he had switched back over to all business.

Yuri had injured his knee two years before and at times it would bother him. It had been sore lately, but he did not want to tell Victor, in fear of only letting him down more.

“How is your knee?” Victor asked him as Yuri felt that large hand wrap around his thin bony knee.

“It’s fine,” Yuri said and shook his knee from Victor’s grasp.

“Oh kitten, don’t be like this. I hate that you get upset whenever I have to leave,” Victor said.

“Then don’t leave,” Yuri said.

Victor groaned and leaned in to kiss Yuri, he hated leaving but he was torn between his husband and Yuri.

“You know I love you,” Victor said.

“They why do you always leave?” Yuri asked.

“You know why I leave.”

“I’ll let you down. I will always let you down. I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.” Yuri growled out, “My knee has not been right and I can’t be perfect like your damn pig.”

“Yurio… you know that is a lie,” Victor said. Yuri could see the pain in his eyes. Good, Yuri wanted him to hurt, he wanted him to feel the way he felt right now.

“It’s not fair… He gets all the time with you. I get quickies in the afternoon,” Yuri said as he sat up and wrapped his naked body around Victor as he tied his shoes. Kissing his neck, Yuri wanted nothing but for Victor to stay.

“Yura…” Victor whined.

“Stay,” Yuri said.

Victor’s phone rang and Yuri saw it was Yuuri. Groaning he sat back on his pillows, admiring the marks Victor had left on his hips and inner thighs.

“Yes, yes… I am on my way home. Yes Yuuri… I love you too,” Victor said.

Yuri sat there and heard those words fall so easily out of Victor’s mouth. He hated himself for how he had allowed this all too happen. The problem was, he couldn’t even hate Yuuri over it all. Yuuri was a great husband to Victor and friend to him. Every time he saw those big brown eyes, he could feel as he twisted the knife in Yuuri’s back.

“Just… get out of here,” Yuri growled and turned on his side. He knew he would feel the regret and shame– until Victor returned again. He knew he was betraying one of the few friends he had– he also knew he would continue to allow Victor into his bed, no matter how many people it would hurt in the end.


	32. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> "It would have been better if we never met." ................ otayuri?

All good things must come to an end, at least that is what Yuri had learned. They had been fighting so long, Yuri forgot why it all started. Everything Otabek did upset him. It was always wrong. Everything Yuri did always disappointed Otabek.

“I should have left you to the angels!” Otabek yelled.

“GOOD! You should have! But no! You had to come and be a fucking knight in shining armor!” Yuri screamed back.

“I was trying to help you!”

“Help me? You think coming into my life and turning it upside down helped me?” Yuri yelled.

“It would have been better if we never met,” Otabek said.

Yuri was taken back. It was not what Otabek said, it was how he said it. The malice was out of his voice– it came out flat and calm.

“You really mean that, don’t you?” Yuri asked.

“Well it would have to be easier than this,” Otabek said as he sat on the couch.

“What? Loving me?” Yuri asked.

“Is this what love is?” Otabek asked back, “All we do is fight! I don’t even want to come home most days.”

Yuri sat in the chair across from Otabek in the small living room they shared. There were pictures all over showing their last few years together. Different medals, different countries, the same smiles. Lately they did not have anything new to add to their pictures. It was something Yuri liked– a way to remember the good times.

Yuri stared across the room at the stranger on the couch. He wanted to say lover or even friend, but they had become strangers. They skated every day at the same rink, but Otabek was out at night with his gigs and friends and Yuri was over at Victor and Yuuri’s most night. Otabek had taken to sleeping on the couch, and Yuri hated it. They had somehow grown apart while living together. He felt he did not know the man in his living room anymore.

“Beka… what happen to us?” Yuri whispered.

“We grew apart,” Otabek said with a shrug, “It happens.”

“It doesn’t even bother you,” Yuri said.

“I never said it didn’t bother me,” Otabek said. His voice unwavering.

“You never fucking cared. I don’t even know you anymore.”

“You pushed me away months ago, Yura… what did you expect me to do?” Otabek asked.

“FIGHT FOR ME!” Yuri screamed.

“Why should I fight for someone I use to love?”

Yuri choked, “Use too?”

“Yura… this isn’t love anymore. I don’t even know what it is.”

Yuri nodded, sadly he had to agree.


	33. Otabek / Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> concupiscentcircumlocution asked:
> 
> Otayuri "You're just not enough anymore." Give me a painful death, if you would be so kind.

Otabek hated where everything stood. He had a torrid affair with Yuri that he was able to hide for years. They had moved into a little house outside Saint Petersburg and skated their ways to gold medals at every turn. At twenty six it was time to retire. That was when the pressure from his father came in. He was to go home and marry his betrothed. Otabek had held off for many years, but his family was tired of him gallivanting around the world with Yuri. Otabek would be a disgrace to his family and country if he did not do this. There were a lot of things Otabek could give up for Yuri, but this was his family and country.

HIs father already had him set up to take over the family business, the wedding was in a week. He had not even told Yuri yet. He did not know how to tell Yuri. He loved Yuri with all his heart and soul. He wanted so badly to tell his father ‘ _no_ ’ and continue with Yuri, but his family would fall into disgrace and lose status within their country. It would ruin their family. He could not be selfish. He had siblings to think about and his parents.

Sitting up on his elbow, he brushed the golden hair off Yuri’s forehead and kissed him gently. He needed to tell him, but he wanted all his last moments to be moments he would remember and not spoil it.

“You’re just not enough anymore,” Otabek whispered as he looked down at Yuri while he slept.

He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He knew Yuri would be heartbroken, he knew Yuri would hate him forever. Yuri had promised him forever… Otabek loved that about Yuri, it was always full of passion. He hated knowing he would be extinguishing that fire behind those emerald eyes. It broke him everyday as they got closer to him having to leave.

How do you tell the person you love with all your heart and soul that you are leaving and never coming back? That you are marrying another? That you are building a life with someone else and not them? How does one give themselves to someone they had never met when they are laying next to the person who knows them inside and out?

It was unfair. So damn unfair. Laying back down, Otabek gathered a sleeping Yuri back in his arms. Crying silently, he felt that warm body against his, the soft breaths of sleep on his neck. Otabek cried silently. He had one more night with his Yuri. One more night to hold him over for a lifetime.


	34. Victor / Yuri P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> "back then, i lied when i told you i didnt love you. you needed to move on from me - i needed to protect you from me" for victor and yurio, please??

Victor watched as the relationship had blossomed between Yuri and Otabek. Sure he had his Yuuri, but there was always something that nagged in the back of his mind. The ‘ _what if_ ’. What if he had not gone to Japan and fallen in love. What if he had allowed Yuri to pursue him more than he had. What if he did not push Yuri at Otabek.

  
It had been two years and Yuri was dancing around as they had found a flat for him and Otabek. Yuri had insisted Yuuri and Victor go with him. He wanted their opinions. Victor had tried to get out of it, but Yuuri made him come along.

The last thing Victor had wanted to do was help find a place for Yuri and Otabek to be happy together in.

“Yurio, this place is perfect! Let me go run downstairs and get an application for it!” Yuuri said as they had checked out everything, “And it is only a block away from us!”

“Da, Otabek will love this place, yes please, go get me an application,” Yuri said.

When Yuuri left, Victor smiled slightly at Yuri. He wanted to be happy, he could not be selfish. He could not have both Yuri and Yuuri. It was unfair to them. Victor was always used to getting everything he ever wanted, and for once, it was not happening. He had abandoned Yuri, when Yuri needed him most, for his own selfish gains.

Walking over to Yui, he grabbed his jacket and held him there. Yuri’s eyes grew big as he stared up into Victor’s aqua eyes.

“Don’t do this old man, you had your fucking chance,” Yuri growled.

“Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. You needed to move on from me - I needed to protect you from me,” Victor said as he crushed his mouth down on the frown that Yuri was giving him.

Yuri pushed him off, “No! You don’t get to do this now! You made your choice and I moved on.”

“Then tell me you don’t still love me,” Victor said.

Yuri turned from him, “Damn you… let me have my happiness.”

“Are you happy though?”

“Happy enough,” Yuri whispered.

Victor walked behind Yuri and put his hand on his shoulder and turned him, “I do love you.”

Those emerald eyes were shining with tears, “Don’t do this to me now… Please, Vitya… allow me to move on. Otabek is good for me.”

Victor nodded, “Otabek is good for you, still doesn’t change the biggest mistake I ever made.”

Leaning down Victor kissed Yuri. It was quick and passionate. He had pushed everything he was feeling at that moment into the kiss. When they heard the footsteps coming back down the hallway, Yuri pushed him off and walked down the hallway.

“Yurio! I got the application!” Yuuri yelled out.


	35. Otabek / JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sergeantjamesrogers asked:
> 
> Oh gosh this one is better “I regret it all. I really do, I swear. Please, please– let’s fix this, please.” With JJBek! Hope your day at work passes quickly!!

Otabek hated how JJ would beg and plead. As much as he loved JJ– this side of him was one he did not like. They had been in the throws of passion when Isabella has busted into the room. Otabek was laid under the sheet with his head buried in the pillow listening to them.

“Seriously JJ? We have a child on the way! I knew you use to run off to him before… but now?” Isabella hissed at him.

“I regret it all. I really do, I swear. Please, please– let’s fix this, please,” JJ begged.

He regretted it? He regretted him? Otabek had never felt so low and dirty in his entire life. He knew it was wrong to continue what he had with JJ at the time, but he couldn’t stop. He had told himself he would stop once those two got married, but JJ would still call him– and he would go running every time.

“And you Otabek! You were my friend!” Isabella screamed as she held onto her swelling belly, “You were to be our god father!”

Otabek couldn’t lift his head from the pillow. He felt ashamed. He did not know what to do- what to say. There was nothing he could do or say that would fix any of this. Isabella was crying and JJ was still pleading with her. Otabek wished he was invisible at this moment. He wished the bed would open and suck him inside.

When Isabella left, Otabek finally lifted his head from the pillow. JJ was still on the floor, crying. Otabek went to him. Next to him with his arm around his shoulder, JJ cried more.

“Go home JJ, you have a family.”

“What about you?” JJ sniffled.

“You have a family. We both knew this couldn’t last,” Otabek said.

“I can’t do all this without you,” JJ sniffled out.

Otabek just sat there and held JJ. He knew Isabella would not allow JJ back over here again. He knew what they had was over. Kissing the top of JJ’s head, Otabek knew he had to say goodbye, he just didn’t know how.


	36. Yuri / Yuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shamelessshipper asked:
> 
> bored begone! how come you being bored on saturday?? howw...? okay, I'm sending in my choice for that prompts “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.” hm... lets see... Yuuri-Yurio? ;D

It was always so hard for Yuuri, he could see the longing in the looks Yuri gave him. They practiced ballet in morning, and ice in the afternoons. Yuuri was at his last year and Yuri was in the height of his career. Yuuri knew he should have never allowed it to get to this point, but he found himself on more occasions than not, on his knees in the locker room with Yuri’s cock down his throat.

“I want a weekend with you,” Yuri said to him.

“Yurio… you know we can’t,” Yuuri said as he changed out of his leotard.

“Why the hell not?”

Yuri knew, they both knew. Yuuri turned and glared at him, “Victor.”

“Ok so?” Yuri asked.

With a heavy sigh, Yuuri got his track pants out and slipped them on, “Dammit, don’t pressure me like this.”

“Don’t be mad at me because I want a weekend where I am not sharing you!” Yuri hissed at him.

“I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”

Yuri gasped as he looked at him. Dammit, he did not mean to say that.

“You… you what?” Yuri breathed out.

Yuuri shook his head. “Nothing,” he said as he slipped his tshirt on and grabbed his bag.

“You’re seriously going to say some shit like that and then just leave?” Yuri asked.

“I think it is better… I am married… I can’t be doing this.”

“Never stopped you before,” Yuri said, “Is it because you have feelings for me? It was different when I was just somebody you fucked?”

Yuuri shook his head, it was not suppose to have happened this way. It was not suppose to have happen at all. He was so torn. He was not suppose to have had feelings for Yuri - but he did. He could not deny them. He also knew his husband would be waiting for him to go to the rink.

Walking up to Yuri, Yuuri cupped his face in his hands and kissed him, “You know you mean so much more to me.”

“Then prove it,” Yuri spit back at him.

They heard the locker room door open and Yuuri jumped away from Yuri. Victor strolled in and wrapped his arms around Yuuri, kissing his neck.

“Oh I’ve missed you my love. Are you ready to go to the rink? I thought we all could walk together,” Victor said as he kissed up down Yuuri’s neck- the same place Yuri had just been kissing earlier.

Locking eyes with Yuri as Victor his neck, he saw as Yuri turned away from them and packed his bag up, “Go on without me, I’ll meet you at the rink.”

“You sure?” Victor asked.

“Da.”

“Come on my love, we can walk together,” Victor said. Taking his hand, Yuuri looked over his shoulder as Yuri lifted his head and those emerald eyes seemed to look through him as they left out the locker room.


End file.
